Benchmarks and Tempations

I am beyond thrilled to say that, after a lot of really hard work, I am now $337.00 away from being debt-free except for my mortgage.  I wanted to wait until I was completely there before talking about it (which will be in a few weeks).  But I’m excited now.  I have a fair emergency fund and a decently-funded 401(k), but I have basically been plugging away at the debt very hard the last couple years.  (Having a roommate also helps.)  Now I can start to save in earnest all that money I’m going to need for school.  Yippee!

 

I’m tempted to actually let myself get financially ahead and be comfortable though: to be one of those people with no mortgage in ten years or less by socking all that money at the loan.  I dream of doing a little redecorating, and overseas travel again (one of my great loves, environmental havoc-wreakers, and debt-creators)… but that’s all stuff that will get in the way of my plans for the next five years or so.  It’s not going to prepare me for a student life, and then a missions life.  I’m not really into acquiring “stuff” but there are still things I dream about… and am tempted by.

 

I’m sure some of this line thought has come about since I had to put off school for a year in order to re-take the LSAT in June.  Which I am dreading… I worked so hard preparing for it the first time that I never want to see the damn thing again.  I’ve given myself until Ash Wednesday to continue relaxing from it and then I must start studying again, and find some tutoring.  But a couple more weeks of mental rest will not go amiss – it’s been a stressful four months between that and work and everything else.  Then I’ll still have four months to study, and also organize my mom’s move which is scheduled for two weeks before the test.  Always an adventure!

Back from Vegas – Thank God

I was engaged to a man who moved to Vegas to play poker for a living.  It didn’t start out that way, but anyway I was going to move there with him and marry him.  I’m glad it didn’t work out.  I’d have gone mad living there.  I saw a scene where, in between the glitz of casino after casino, was a tiny run-down Catholic Charities building trying to do its work in that wilderness of the soul.  That’d have been me.  Though if I’d found others like that and embedded myself that way, I’d have probably been fine, but the marriage would have imploded.

I was there for business – the International Consumer Electronics Show.  How ironic for a minimalist, yes?  But I was there running our presence at the Bellagio.  I did get swept up in the decadence for a day or so, but the amount of waste and everything about it is kind of nauseating.  (I will admit, though, that I enjoyed our expensive hoity-toity dinner at Michael Mina to the very last bite. For a foodie with no budget for that kind of dining, it was a dream come true. My boss took me as a reward for my hard work. I ate every bite so none of it would be wasted. ;-D)

Anyway, I also suffered insomnia for about two weeks – the prep week before and the week in Vegas itself.  I am catching up on my rest now.

Vegas is a very weird place to try and remember Christ.  Perhaps if I’d spent more time on the street meeting people outside the insular expensive casino world.  I’m glad to be home though, where things make some kind of sense.  Now that the insanity of the last two weeks is over I can get back to the gym, my bible, choir and the rest.  Law school preparations.  I’d brought my bible but I didn’t read it very much there.

I’m still a bit out of sorts.

Busy-ness

Started out with a bang and promptly was swallowed by work.  For an anti-consumerist person, it is funny that I leave in a couple of hours to work the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas for the week.  After getting back from New Year, my week was filled with 16-hour days of getting show-ready, no posts, and many challenges to living up to my Christian standards for behavior.  Homicidal thoughts were had and plotted out in detail.  Sometimes I feel like the red-headed step-child of Christ.  Oh, stress, I do allow you to trip me up sometimes. 

Here’s hoping to being able to post a bit from Vegas, but I am basically on-call as concierge for my company’s entire delegation and so it will be hit and miss.  Blessings!!!

Happy New Year 2008! Thoughts

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008!!!  May it be blessed for each of you.

 

I began my New Year this morning by reading the next chapters from my ongoing informal self-study of Isaiah and Deuteronomy.  I decided I want to become more familiar with the Old Testament, since it does still occupy 2/3 of all the pages in the Bible.  The verses that struck me today are in Isaiah, Chapter 28:

 ^16-17 This, now, is what the sovereign Lord says: “I am placing in Zion a foundation that is firm and strong.  In it I am putting a solid cornerstone on which is written the words, ‘Faith that is firm is also patient.’  Justice will be a measuring line for the foundation, and honesty will be its plumb line.” ^24-25a No farmer goes on constantly plowing his fields and getting them ready for planting.  Once he has prepared the soil, he plants the seeds. 

Here is why I am meditating on this puzzle.  As I stated in my intro, I am preparing to go to law school to work in International Human Rights.  I’m also very scared about this, scared of failure, scared of going back to school at my age, etc.  I was preparing to apply for Fall of 2008, until my LSAT (Law School Admission Score) came back about ten days ago.  I had prepared rigorously for ten weeks but must have freaked out on test day, because I came back with a 155 which is about 8-10 points below my average practice test score.  I decided to put off school for a year so I could re-test and do better.  A higher score (in my previous, consistent average range) would put me in far better running for admissions and scholarships.

 

Is that an example of faith being patient, or of a farmer that plows and plows but never plants?  Or is the farmer in the second passage actually referring to God, not humans?  As I begin a new year of plowing I must consider this carefully.  I have felt a need to prepare better spiritually before entering law school, so I can be strong to focus on what God would have me do vs. the temptations to go where the money is as many law graduates do.  But am I really onto something or am I simply procrastinating?

 

It’s really kind of moot at this point, because it’s too late to apply for Fall 2008 now (I was cutting it close), but I’d like to get this straight in my heart. 

 

Either way, there is important work to be done in 2008.

Tithe

I’ve been doing an awful lot of thinking lately about money.  Not about getting a ton more, but about my relationship to it and using it wisely.  After graduating college I lived for about 6 years on a pauper’s wages (by American standards), and have slowly crept up into the middle class since that time.  As my income rose I let my expenses rise as well, so that even when I was making $15K more than in 1994 I was still in the same financial pickle but with even more debt.  I’d always said, “if I ever get a big, fat raise I will pay all this debt off,” so when I was promoted last year I made up my mind that I would use that raise wisely and not waste it, because you never know what the future holds.  And I began examining my relationship with money.

Since that time I have put myself on a budget.  I have paid off thousands in debt and will be done with that (except mortgage) by February or March.  I am saving aggressively.  My budget is almost Spartan – down to the penny, so that even $20-30 in extra expenses throws me off-budget and I get guilty about it.  For instance, this week I “found” myself with an extra $50 and threw it at the credit card payoff.  I was so proud!  But then I needed the $50 and ended up taking it out of the emergency fund because I hadn’t thought it through.  I want to be done with debt NOW!!!  (I have the big savings account at a separate bank that is hard for me to get at, and a smaller one for emergencies and other budgeted/ foreseeable expenses.)  I need to learn to allow myself a little wiggle-room.

I’ve been examining my need to hold onto money so tightly.  Sure I have goals, and I’m well on my way to them with a definite plan.  I will have the school money I need.  But, I have also been thinking seriously about tithing this year.  I give regularly to various causes, but it’s time for me to tithe a full ten percent (which is what “tithe” means.)

Tithe is a church term about giving ten percent of your income to the church, but it doesn’t have to be a church thing.  Folks who are not religious or have different faiths can think about giving to whatever cause they believe in.  However, regular disciplined giving in any framework has powerful spiritual effects.  Even to start with $5.00 a month, every month to a cause one has committed to, is a major thing.  It changes one’s mindset and relationship to the world.  From a small but regular commitment, it usually tends to grow as years progress.  I found that if I give first and pay bills after that, I don’t miss the money.  If I pay bills first and then look at what’s left, I find it harder to afford.  But even on a shoestring budget, one can usually give $5.00 a month to something immediately after being paid and not miss it.

But I have been richly blessed.  The amount I give has crept up over the years, but not in proportion to my income, and as I walk my spiritual path I find now that I think I need to tithe in the literal sense.  I don’t know that it will all go to my church, though the largest chunk will (they publish the detailed budget so I know where they spend it), but some will go to other causes I believe in.  Right now my thoughts are with three specific organizations.  But I haven’t worked all this out yet.  It’s simply what I’m praying through right now.  Having a roommate, after March I’ll basically live on about half my income and be able to save the rest between my accounts and my 401(k).  And I need to continue saving really aggressively if I am to accomplish my educational goals – when I say I can’t afford something it means it doesn’t fit into my budget and would hurt my goals and plans.  At the same time, it’s time for me to increase my giving.

To put my money where my mouth is.

The Compact: End of Year 2007

I’ve been participating in The Compact for over a year now.  The Compact yahoo group states: 

“We are a group of individuals committed to a 12-month flight from the consumer grid.  The Compact has several aims (more or less prioritized below):

• To go beyond recycling in trying to counteract the negative global environmental and socioeconomic impacts of disposable consumer culture and to support local businesses, farms, etc. — a step that, we hope, inherits the revolutionary impulse of the Mayflower Compact.
• To reduce clutter and waste in our homes (as in trash Compact-er).
• To simplify our lives (as in Calm-pact)

We’ve agreed to follow two principles (see exceptions etc. on our blog).

#1 Don’t buy new products of any kind (from stores, web sites, etc.)
#2 Borrow, barter, or buy used.”

I’m not a strict compacter – have mostly evolved into a “thoughtful consumer,” which limits my purchasing but I am not totally “off the consumer grid.” I also unfortunately get some things from China because I can’t always find everything used or afford otherwise, but as always, I’m trying.  I’d prefer not to exploit little Chinese children, nor support the government monster.

This has made the clothes shopping of yesterday (even though it was all used – it was a LOT) and the shoe, wallet and Target-etc. shopping of today and other similar outings feel weird to me.  I really don’t like shopping or otherwise acquiring things at all, and often feel somewhat guilty afterward.  Not because I’ve “broken some rule” – I just don’t like acquiring stuff.  I went to the grocery store immediately after these as well so I wouldn’t have to step into any kind of store again for the rest of the New Year’s weekend.  Bleccchh.

“Stuff” drains my energy.  I took another ½ carload to Good Will today – it’s getting harder for me to find more stuff to get rid of but I know I can do it.  My roommate is a bit of a hoarder so the place always seems cluttered to me – but as much as I’d like to, I can’t just start chucking out her stuff too.  She considers sending one bag to Good Will “a lot” – I call it “barely a start.”  You drive an SUV, chick-a dee.  Fill that puppy up.

I was good these last couple of days though – I did see a few “ooh-shiney’s” but came back only with what was on the list to take care of (buy or exchange), and within ten dollars of budget.  I simply wish that work didn’t require me to buy all these clothes. Thankfully, well-made classic-cut clothes will always be useful and not go out of style.  Hopefully I’m done for a while.

Introduction

Welcome to Journeying into the Unknown! As stated in the “What’s this Blog About” page, I’m Kris and I am a Christian. No, this blog isn’t going to preach about anything. I am just a Christian on a journey of discovering my purpose in Christ and struggling to achieve that and to walk closer with God. Here I’ll talk about struggles and spiritual journeys I am going through, as I suspect many others are also going through things like that too. All topics presented are open for discussion and a free exchange of ideas.

I am not one of those Christians who does not talk to people of other faiths. I have friends of many different religions and of no religion at all, and I love the diversity. Anyone is welcome to comment here.

Some topics that will be covered are faith and call to discipleship. I’ve recently been called to go into mission work, specifically with an organization such as International Justice Mission, that rescues people from human trafficking, forced slavery and the sex trade. So, at the age of 36 preparing to leave my comfy life and apply to law school. I am scared to death and woefully ill-equipped as far as being as advanced on my faith journey compared to so many others, so I’m not sure why this call has taken over my consciousness and my life. But it has, and here I am, for better or for worse. And I’m going, wherever He may take me.

I am also in the midst of a spiritual journey of learning about my relationship with money and posessions, and modifying that to be congruent with my walk with God and different from American consumerist culture wherever necessary. My next couple of posts will be about that. These and other topics such as current events and more are appropriate here.

Again, I am not exemplary or trying to preach or present myself as any sort of expert. I’m just searching and trying to grow in consciousness and intentional Christian living as described in the Bible and lived by the early church, despite many of the things that have been perpetrated in the name of God in the thousands of years of church history. I am always journeying back to the source, back to the Good: always to remember to love people first (no matter how many times I might fail). I hope that this will be a place to explore such issues.

Thanks for stopping by and feel free to subscribe to my RSS feed via the link on the sidebar. God Bless You!